Saturday, December 16, 2017

Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged

Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged 
Team Four Star are the ones behind this rather well-written parody series. They're the ones that make the Dragon Ball parody series. I think the FF7 series is actually better because they're using the 3D sprites from the game for the series. They aren't as restricted by the animation and mouth movements as the DBZ footage.
This makes me want to go back and play FF7 again despite its confusing plot.
One of the funniest moments in the series has to be the Urban renewal joke when an assistant sees Barrett. She assumes he is there for the urban renewal project due to his race. That is funny.



The Cringe is Worthy

The Cringe is Worthy
I am a huge fan of train wrecks and Kent B is one of those said wrecks. Ever since discovering him on Kiwi Farms, I have been keeping a eye on him. In many ways, I was Kent growing up. Due to my strange nature of dealing with social interactions, I was an awkward kid that didn't have many friends.
With that, I also had difficult times getting the attention of girls as well. Even if I threw I rock at a girl, I couldn't get their attention. Look, I was and still am an unattractive awkward guy. I was that thirsty teenager kid that went crush crazy if a girl merely talked to me. I had to learn the hard way that you get nothing from those interactions.
Kent seems to not understand this and thinks he can pull a girl on an 8-10 scale. He then gets upset and hostile when they reject him. He is basically the black Elliot Rogers.
He doesn't understand that they smell the creepy stalker vibe coming from him when he interacts with them. It makes for cringe-worthy videos. And, sometimes sad videos.
If I were to give him advice, I'd say he needs to stay away from women for a while. Just act civil around them not flirt with them. Just because a woman is nice to you at her work means she's open to a relationship. You're not entitled to be happy or to have a girlfriend, Kent. Getting laid shouldn't be your world, fixing yourself should be your primary goal.
He gets into these patterns where a woman will speak to him and he believes she is attracted to him. He gets all strange and he falls into depression after the rejection.
With the video below, a girl stood him up on his date and went out with another guy.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

A different type of cooking show. (NSFW)

Nude Cooking (NSFW)
Crap, the camera has the evil “male gaze”.
Who knew that cooking shows could be so "engaging" and "interactive"? And, I thought Rachel Ray was attractive. I always thought that there were two things that never mixed cooking and nudity. You don't want open flames near your sensitive bits. I guess Ruby Day has proven me wrong.
I discovered this strange combination via that h3h3 video about strange sub-porn YouTube channels. If I ever get bored with PornHub and RedTube, I can travel on down to YT and this channel out. I can also learn a simple cooking thing.
The name of the series is CooKing in the Nude. And, that pretty much sums up the concept of the channel. An attractive redhead with an amazing body teaches you how to cook rather simple dishes and as she is barely covered in an apron.
While I am not into mixing food with sex appeal, it sort of works here thanks to the almost tongue in cheek manner this series is filled. I really like that the camera sneaks a peek at her...well peaks. It is more or less, "Yeah, we know why you're really here."
I am not knocking the game. She has found a niche (of lonely guys and girls) and made a thing out of it. And, she has a great body. Plus, she also has friends show up and cook with her. Luckily, they are female as well.  I don't believe she'd get many views with some hairy dude.  
If you want to support her lack of clothes, here's her Patreon page. It looks like her Cooking Nude vids were taken off of YT, but you can find them here. I came for the food and...I should not finish the statement.

Got to love the Internet.  

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Lady Bird...more like Lady Killer

It looks like our boy Cole Smithey has finally gotten some mainstream attention. He was one of the few reviewers that gave Toy Story 3 a bad review, which he brags about. In addition, he is now known to have given a bad score to some highly praised movie called Lady Bird.
From Indie Wire, (( “Lady Birds” perfect 100% score on Rotten Tomatoes is no more. After remaining at 100% through 196 reviews and setting the record for best-reviewed film on Rotten Tomatoes, “Lady Bird” has been brought down to 99% thanks to a rotten tomato from film critic Cole Smithey. ))
Lady Bird was at 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, but Cole Smithey brought in his hipster review brain and dun-f'ed it up. If you can remember, good old Cole is the half-brother of Internet infamous character Chris Chan. Cole moved away from his f'ed up family and completely reinvented himself as far-left leaning hipster movie critic that thinks every movie needs to have a political message. He even blocked Chris from his Patreon. When Chris begs for money, Cole ignores his pleas on Twitter.
Cole Smithy is basically a low-low-broken down white version of Armond White.  He even wears the shitty 1940'-50s clothes like White right down to the d-bag hat.  

One can only hope they mention his embarrassing brother when they interact with him. If he didn't like the movie fine. if he is just giving it a bad review just for attention, I say f' you.
On the other hand, I am kind of pleased the review is pissing off the indie fans a great deal. It is JUST one review out of nearly 200.  And, I have no interest in seeing this Lady Bird movie.  
I would also like to remind you that Cole gets around 100 bucks on Patreon while his crazy brother/sister receives nearly 550 a month. Damn. And, Cole is demanding 5K as his monthly goal.
Anyway, enjoy the sheer asshole smugness below.

Thursday, December 07, 2017

August Ames RIP

August Ames RIP
I wrote about this pornstar a while back. She was probably in my top five pornstars currently working. I liked her natural breasts and face. Plus, she had no problem doing interracial scenes.
It would seem August had a blowout on Twitter with some people and she sort of ended with an “F' you” sort of tweet. When are people going to learn not use that stupid site? It is no good for anyone. You're going to change anyone's mind over a limited number of characters.
I can't really blame the backlash for her suicide.
While her husband didn't want people talking about the reasons behind her death. We've come to find out she killed herself by hanging. It has also come out that she had a whole slew of mental disorders.
From NY Daily News, ((Porn star August Ames, who died of a suicide by hanging on Tuesday, revealed her struggles with bipolar depression and multiple personality disorder just months before her death. ))
Plus, you can throw in molestation from her grandfather and you have a terrible thing going on in her head. Given she was not in treatment, so she probably thought suicide was the only way out.
Her death took me by surprise. Given that I have been suffering from extreme depression, this has opened my eyes. The mental pain is real and it limits you from doing anything.
From NY Daily News, (("Some days I'll be fine and if I'm not doing anything I'll get these awful flashbacks of my childhood and I get very depressed and I can't get out of bed and cancel my scenes for like a week or two," Ames revealed. ))
Now for a brighter moment from her life.

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Alex vs Star Mazer settlement (so far)

Alex vs Star Mazer settlement (so far)
If you can remember, I wrote stories about a VG composer that sent out false copyright claims against YouTubers and VG publishers on Steam. Alex was able to bring down the game on Steam and other platforms. I wrote about the lack of attention from the gaming press. When they did talk about it, a gaming journalist tried to white knight Alex against the “evil” YouTubers.
I found it troubling that a work-for-hire could shut down a company's source of income with a misuse of copyright claims. This case had bigger issues where one disgruntled employee could easily bring down an up and coming company.
Now, I have good news.
Lenard has reached an agreement with Alex. From what I can tell from the video above, it is a rather good settlement. Alex can't make any claims against the Imago or its products. She can't make any more bad statements against the VG company either. So no more false DMCAs for now.
This hasn't stopped Alex from making tweets about the case and even going as far as calling the judge an idiot. Despite not having a dime to his name, the court could fine him/her for this outburst.  However, the court just wants to be left alone at this point. 

Monday, December 04, 2017

Jaden Smith: Icon (Nope, you are not)

Jaden Smith: Icon  (Nope, you are not)
Oh, boy this is lit-garbage. I was talking someone that stated I really hate Jaden Smith. You know what? I really DO hate Jaden Smith. I can say that this track is way better than his Batman song. However, the worse part of this track is Jaden (stumbling) rapping over the beat. The beat is actually good, but the entitled asshole rapping is bad and trying to follow the shitty nature of modern rap today...which is bad.
And, it is safe to say that Jaden is NOT an icon despite what his song says. Sorry, you're just some rich prick living off your father's hard work. Plus, whatever stuff you learned from taking those stupid Scientology classes.
I have to wonder if this version of (rapper) Jaden fits in with the version that wears dresses.
My biggest question is why is he wearing one oversize chain? He has to wrap it around his neck many times to keep it from falling off.

WTF is happening with Bryan Singer? Fired from Bohemian Rhapsody

WTF is happening with Bryan Singer? Fired from  Bohemian Rhapsody

From Hollywood Reporter, ((The decision reflected an escalating clash between Singer and actor Rami Malek and was caused by Singer's being missing from the set, necessitating the Dec. 1 production shutdown of the film in which Malek stars as Freddie Mercury, frontman of the rock group Queen, which has been shooting in London. ))
I was a huge fan of Singer with his Superman and X-Men movies, but certain stories have come out about him that makes me uneasy. Then there is the story about Singer being fired from a movie a few days ago for being...a prick (?).
It seems there was some tension between Bruno Mars lookalike Rami Malek and Singer. Things got so bad that they had a major meltdown on the set and something was thrown. This led to Singer not showing up for important scenes and other people taking over the shots.
Basically, the “heat” was so bad that Singer disappeared from the area of shooting altogether. Ouch.
Fox had enough and fired Singer.  This doesn't bode well for Singer and his career.  
From Deadline.com, ((Singer’s reps later said in a statement: “This is a personal health matter concerning Bryan and his family. Bryan hopes to get back to work on the film soon after the holidays.” ))
Given my mental health isn't the best of late, I kind of understand what Singer is going through. There are times when I have to calm myself down because I hate the company I work for. I wish I could take some time off and rethink certain things. It has drained me so much that I sleep a lot just to NOT think about it. I just hope Singer gets the help and sets this incident behind him.  

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Get Out

Get Out

Get Out isn't exactly a horror movie. Despite being made by a comedic actor/writer, it is more of a psychological thriller than a comedy. Director Jordan Peele does an outstanding job with this creepy, but entertaining little movie. It starts out with one premise and switches to something else. The movie is far better than I expected it to turn out. Get Out is a good movie that works most of the time.
Get Out has some comedic elements, but not in a goofy parody manner. Most of the comedic elements are in the form of a side character named Rod Williams. Rod that isn't a part of the main storyline and he is having his own story. I have to wonder if there was more story involving said character. However, this character does pay off in the main story during the climax.
Putting aside the comedic roots of the production team, Daniel Kaluuya is the lead for Get Out. He is the face of the movie. I am impressed with his performance. He has expressive eyes and subtle things that convey that there are much bigger things going on in his mind and character. It was a nice to go with an up and coming actor instead of an established actor.
He conveys the anxiety every black male has meeting his white girlfriend's family. The movie starts out as something mundane as an interracial couple meeting the parents. However, it turns into something far more twisted and sinister as the story progresses.
While the movie is very tight in time and editing, I would have enjoyed a few more minutes of subtle strangeness and foreshadowing. What they have in the movie is good, but I wanted more before the movie switches to a more slasher/action/chase movie. The creepy build-up would have enhanced the switch to the more darker slasher/fear aspects of the story.
Actually, the acting all around is very good. Allison Williams should receive high praise for her role. Her character is a bit more twisted when you really think about what she's been doing to victims for years. Catherine Keener and Bradley Whitford are both good as the creepy parents to Williams. They give off that “something isn't right about them”.
Get Out is a fun little movie with some creepy aspects. There are some comedic elements but relies more on the horror/thriller elements than comedic ones. The direction and editing are spot-on. I like how the writing and the directing work hand-in-hand with foreshadowing. As long as you let talented people do their thing, you get a well-made product such as Get Out.  
Grade: B+

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Drop Zone Punch

Drop Zone Punch
I really liked the Snipes movie Drop Zone (AKA Passager 58). The guys over at We Hate Movies did a podcast about this overlooked action gem from the 90s. Every time it is on TV, I watch it. Yes, Wesley Snipes' character punches a woman, and you could not do that in today's hashtag world. It works here and shows that she is a person that can take a punch and gives it right back.
Here's the story behind that funny moment. From IMDB, ((The character of Jess Crossman was originally written as a man. After the character was made a woman and Yancy Butler was cast in the role, the filmmakers wanted to remove the part where Nessip hits her after she drops him out of the plane. However, Butler insisted that the "hitting" scene be left in, and it was. ))
I love that it was Butler wanted to keep it in. It is probably the funniest scene in the movie. And, yes. Claire Stansfield and Yancy Butler are both in this movie and they look like sisters. It is very confusing.  



  
 
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